Tuesday, Aug. 16, 2005
It never gets easier
Since the day I got married I have always been the one who made the most money in our home. My husband pays his part of the bills and I pay mine, but all of the other responsibilities (i.e. food, clothing, and entertainment) have always fallen on my shoulders. I really have never had a problem with this because I know it’s not like my husband is a lazy bum that I have to take care of, he is a man that works his ass off to be able to pay his part of the bills. When I got pregnant, we were extremely happy because as many of you know we have been trying for over a year. The only thing that was worrying me a bit was the payment for health insurance for the baby once he was born, but I had made a budget and figured everything would be ok. On Saturday, my boss called me in to the office to let me know that he had decided to take over the office on his own (we were united to another office which usually paid off our payroll) and that unfortunately he would have to cut my hours to 20 a week and that the health insurance benefit would have to cut by half, which means that I have to pay for the other half, but that I could collect unemployment benefits. He said that as soon as things pick up here, he would give me my 40 hours a week again. It is needless to say that I am royally fucked here, no one will want to take a pregnant lady for a job because they don’t want to have to pay maternity leave so quickly, I can’t leave here because at least I have some insurance here. Unemployment gives me 6 months of payments, my six months would be up at the beginning of March, my due date is March 15, how am I going to buy diapers, food for us and all of the other things I need. I am so terrified, for the first time since I found out I was pregnant, I am terrified that I won’t have anything I need to keep my baby well and healthy. For the first time I have to wonder why after all these months of trying things are suddenly looking up and then the happiness is taken away so quickly. I don’t know what I am going to do. I am still ecstatic about the baby, I am just so SCARED. Any good thoughts are welcome right now.
r-y-r at 11:33 AM
