Wednesday, Jun. 15, 2005
Sad times are here again
You know there has to be something wrong if I am updating this diary. It seems I can never get any emotions out if I am having a good day or I guess recently a good couple of months. So here I am again with some pretty bad news, well not for anybody reading, but for me and my family, its pretty bad and very sad.
Yesterday my mom got a call from her sister. She (my aunt) had gone to New Jersey to visit my grandmother because she was to have an operation, something simple, when she was getting all the testing done prior to surgery they found she had a small spot on one of her lungs (Abuela had been a smoker all of her adult life) so they could not operate and has the spot tested. Well yesterday we got the call and my aunt told my mom that is was cancer, Lung Cancer.
I think we all knew that this was a very big possibility, but I also think we really didn't want to think about it. I have so much emotions going on right now, I have to be strong for my mom, I feel sad that my grandmother is sick, I feel sad that my mom seems to be suffering so much. They never had a great relationship (my mom was my grandfathers favorite and my aunt is my grandmothers favorite) but I know that it hurts her to know that her mother not be here much longer. I have never had a great relationship for my grandmother, she has said and done things to my mom that just make me incredibly mad (and if you know me, you know that I am extremely loyal to my mother and it hurts and bothers me if you want to cause her harm) but she is till my grandmother and it saddens me that I couldn't have a better relationship with her. I try to remember the good things about her and the good times we had together, however small or short lived, because when she is gone that is all that will be left of her.
If you read my diary, please just send some good thoughts (or prayers if you believe in them) our way, reguardless of the outcome, this will prove to be very difficult times and I really need the strenght to be there for my Mom.
r-y-r at 9:06 AM
