Wednesday, Feb. 16, 2005
Welcome back... can't say I missed you
I can feel you setting in depression, it has been a long time coming yet you have taken me completely by surprise, even though I should have known you were just around the corner. I have fought you off with all I have yet not even I am strong enough to keep you away.
You were always peeking in at Christmas time but I didn’t let you in and I guess I must thank you for letting me forget you completely on J’s death anniversary and of course my birthday and Valentines Day. I was even strong those 2 weeks ago when I took the pregnancy test and it came back negative. I have tried everything I can to avoid you, I would rather look like a horrible friend when E had her baby a month ago and I have yet to visit her because I just knew that once I set foot into that house and saw that baby all of my fears would come to smack me in the face. But I take my hat off to you DEPRESSION, you have played your cards right in making me a month late in getting my period for I know that I am not pregnant, this is just a way to let me know that no matter how hard I try to believe things are getting back to normal and that my infertility issues are getting better you do this and make me fall.
Welcome, I put my weapons down, I won’t fight you anymore, not now, maybe in some time I will, right now, I have no strength left.
r-y-r at 10:12 AM
