Thursday, Feb. 12, 2004
What should I do? What would you do?
Yesterday my husband said something that scared me, he said, “by the time you turn 26, I hope that you will be pregnant. I just turned 25 on Monday, so we still have a year. It’s not the fact that he wants to start a family; even though the thought is overwhelming I look forward to becoming a mother. What scared me was the fact that he put sort of a deadline. I am still currently on birth control and we have yet to decide when to stop using it. I try to explain to him that not just because we stop using the “Pill” means we are going to conceive immediately and that is what triggered me being scared. My biggest fear is not being able to have babies. It scares me like no other thing in my life. I know how very much we both want to become parents and although we have discussed our other options in case we cant conceive, I really don’t want to disappoint him. My husband had been through a lot before we got together, some of the worst were losing his daughter and then later on losing his wife. I know how much he dreams of having a little one to hold and protect and give all of his love to, I am scared to think that that may not be come to be.
On the other hand, it kind of surprised me that he said he wanted us to try so soon. I have always thought that he was scared of starting a new family. His wife and daughter passed away just 3 months apart and I know that the problems began with her pregnancy. I have always wondered if he is scared that it might happen again. I guess all in all I don’t know what to do. Should we stop the birth control all together and begin trying to conceive, should we give it some more time, are my fears normal? I have so much on my mind and I am scared. I don’t know how to tell him that I want to discuss this seriously and formally, not just a brief mention of it here and there. I will keep you posted on what goes on with that.
r-y-r at 2:20 PM
